• Daniel Jenkins

Love Your Kids by Loving Your Spouse

Parents, one of the most important actions you can take in raising great children is loving your spouse well.

According to Meg Meeker, M.D.:

"You and your [spouse] are the center of your children’s worlds and when you crack, their worlds fall apart. You and your [spouse] are far more important to your children’s mental, physical and emotional health than they are to yours (and think how important your kids are to you)!"

When a couple first gets married, they don't typically need to be reminded to show one another love and affection. But, as parents, it's very easy to lose focus of the very relationship that led you to becoming parents in the first place. New responsibilities enter the household and bring with them new distractions that compete for your time. Before you know it, you may notice that you haven't been loving one another like you should.

Here's the good news: you can take steps immediately to rekindle the love you once showed each other! Here are three quick tips:

  1. Schedule Time for One Another - It may not seem romantic to add date nights to your calendar, but time is the most valuable resource you can give to someone. If your schedule feels too burdensome to schedule in one date a week, start out with once a month. Slowly increase the frequency to at least once a week. We schedule meetings for everything else in our lives; it's time we start scheduling in time for the people who matter the most to us.

  2. Random Acts of Kindness - Valentine's Day and anniversaries shouldn't be the only time you bless your spouse with intentional gifts. Make an attempt to intentionally give to your spouse your own time, talents, and resources. It could be as simple as cleaning up the kitchen after a meal, or as forward-thinking as getting a baby sitter and planning a night out on the town. The small details of loving each other in the moment are more foundational and important than any single event you will likely experience all year.

  3. Unplug - Let's face it, spending time with your spouse at home isn't necessarily the highest quality or most productive. How many times do we catch ourselves in the same room, each on technology devices, not talking with each other? It happens to all of us. While binge-watching your favorite TV shows leads to a mutual experience, it hardly, if ever, leads to increased intimacy. The challenge is to schedule a time each day to unplug and spend time with one another away from the technology. It could start out as small as 15 minutes per day, but I believe it will grow exponentially as you engage with one another.

Those are just three easy ways to show your spouse you love them. As your children see the love you exemplify in your home, they will feel more safe, secure, joyful, and will learn what positive traits to expect in their future spouse.

As a part of all of our mentoring & coaching services at Equipping Teens, we offer weekly parent coaching. Schedule a free consultation now at EquippingTeens.com!

*Photo by Mahkeo on Unsplash

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