The Mystery of Your Teen’s Personality | The Enneagram
As a parent, have you ever wondered why your child acts a certain way? Maybe some of these examples sound like someone you know:
Your son loves to improve things and generally make the world a better place. But, when hard times come, he can become sensitive to criticism and depressed.
Your daughter is kind and caring, but on occasion she becomes demanding and controlling.
Your daughter is a focused, competitive high-achiever who always seems to have a plan. But when life doesn't go her way, she becomes lazy and unproductive.
Your son is proud of his uniqueness and finds the joy in art & individuality. But when he gets stressed out, your son can crave attention and affirmation from others.
It's possible your daughter is sensitive, quiet, and full of curiosity & imagination. But when faced with challenges, it's easy for your daughter to be rude, condescending, or disconnected.
Your son is loyal, compassionate, funny, and understanding. But when stuff goes wrong, he loses self-confidence and does whatever he can to feel more secure.
Your daughter is happy and full of energy, always looking on the bright side of life and the next adventure. But when she's no longer able to put on the happy facade, she becomes negative, argumentative, and judgmental.
Your son is an independent, natural leader who never backs down, seems emotionally unshakeable, and isn't afraid to stand up for what's right. But in those tough times, he never lets the walls down and lets his emotions show. He may become aggressive and even neglect his own welfare.
Your son is an easy-going guy who is humble, introverted, adaptable, and caring. But under pressure, he caves in, becomes unproductive, and numbs himself with mindless, material, and addictive behaviors.
There's a Way to Understand Their Personality
Regardless of your child's personality type, wouldn't it be great if there was a tool to help you understand them better? There are many different personality assessments out there. Each of them specialize in their own area and a few hold some respect in the psychological, educational, spiritual, or corporate realms. For years, I had used the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and it was rather insightful.
Of course, no person is completely aligned with their personality type 100% of the time, but the results do give us some great insight into who we are most of the time and in most situations. If you would like to take the MBTI assessment, I encourage you to take the assessment at MBTIonline.com. I use it in my own life and it’s been rather useful.
In our flagship program, Self-Leadership Academy, we use an assessment called the Enneagram. The Enneagram itself has been around for a very, very, long time. Seriously, some believe it’s been around since at least the fourth century. According to Ian Cron, author of The Road Back to You, it’s an “ancient personality typing system. It helps people understand who they are and what makes them tick.” The Enneagram has evolved through the years. People serving in Christian ministries adopted it as a useful tool in spiritual growth. A Christian monk going by the name of Brother Dave said, “Working with the Enneagram helps people develop the kind of self-knowledge they need to understand who they are and why they see and relate to the world the way they do. When that happens, you can start to get out of your own way and become more of the person God created you to be.”
3 Steps to Discover Your Teen's Personality
If you would like to have a greater understanding of your son or daughter, I highly recommend digging into their Enneagram type. Here are a few steps to help you get started:
1. Take an Enneagram Assessment
With your teen, take the iEQ9 Enneagram Questionnaire at Integrative9.com/GetYourType. There are three options to choose from, but you only need to take the Mini test to get your core type. You may find other free versions online, but the iEQ9 is trusted and endorsed by the leading Enneagram experts.
2. Read & Study The Road Back to You
Read through a copy of The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron. Ian does a great job at explaining not only what the Enneagram is, but he also gives detailed characteristics of each type. Be sure to grab your highlighter and take note of the traits that stand out to you. The iEQ9 may have given you a great place to start, but reading through Ian's book should give you greater clarity and practical advice. You may buy a copy of The Road Back to You on Amazon through this link.
3. Keep Learning From and With Others
Support your learning by discussing your personality type with your teen and others who are already familiar with the Enneagram. Going through this process with your son or daughter shows you not only care about them, but you're human too. I also recommend subscribing to the Typology podcast hosted by Ian Cron. He interviews people of all different personality types. Each of their discussions helps to better understand the different personalities.
Give Your Teen a Community of Students to Grow With
Discovering your personalities through these three steps is a great way to start. If you would like your teen to understand who they are, how they're wired, and have greater self-confidence, enroll them in Self-Leadership Academy. I am currently accepting applications for fall 2019.
Go to EquippingTeens.com
Click on "Enroll Now"
Complete & Submit the Application Form
That's it! I'll guide your son or daughter through the process of going from a great teen to an extraordinary adult.